At this very moment, I am anxiously writing this journal despite the fact that I'm about to fail all my exams next week.

You might be wondering why I'm here typing away and procrastinating when I can just simply study my brains out so that I'll pass with flying colors. You might be even chastising me for my apparent laziness and though I'd like to bite back and retaliate to your thoughts, I can't. Why? Because they're true.

I'm a slacker.

I can't handle myself well under extreme pressure.

And I hate myself for that.

And although I know that typing all these out won't help me to solve my current dilemma, I needed to air all this out in some way. I'm as stressed as heck right now and I feel as if I don't write this, I'll burst and go crazy.

Damn it.

I'm not really sure why I'm doing this.

It's just that I had the sudden impulse to post my work and share it to people even though I'm aware that nobody really reads these journal entries of mine.

But if you have the time, I would really appreciate it if you can click the link below and read my interpretation of the poem.

And just so you know, my paper has already been graded and criticized (but I didn't really edit my previous flaws)

( LOL. Just read this: BLINDED BY LOVE )

This is a wonderful historically based poem that I read in my literature class last semester:

MALINCHE
by J. Neil C. Garcia

If indeed, as they accuse me, I have let you in,
let the banner and the armor
and the sword of you in,
it is because into your world
you first allowed me soft
and ungrudging entry.
My people do not see,
in the sun-struck clarity of their dreams,
I have merely returned the favor.
Not to the vengeful conquering god
with skin showing pale as bleached maize,
but to the man, whose random tongue
I learned to hear, to trick and follow
as it skipped and slipped past bare-boned words:
movements of an alien music.
Lit up from its roots by hope, it trilled and
lolled and shyly swiveled,
and I began to see, as if through a curtain
parting, warm crystal in your eyes,
ocean in your mouth in which I craved to swim,
for in its depths I may lie lost and drowned, but free.
How strange, for it is only now I realize
my shame, this wordless love for strangers:
the delicate sandaled feet, their fitful fingers,
the famished look in their open faces
laved by astonishment
I cannot hope to share, unless I myself depart,
set sail for the horizon hemming in my home.
Every other sound you made told me
I am lovely, your gaze a potter’s callused hands
stroking, fluting me to shape. In your clasp
I seek the opportunity to come alive,
as flat upon my mother’s mat I am mostly dead,
or at least mournfully suspended, pendant over my soul’s
dim basin. One day soon it shall be written:
because of me an empire fell, a nation lost its heart,
its memories of gold. Why should I care, in truth?
On the offered palm of a stranger
my joy’s flame-red fruit pulsed and beckoned.
A child, I simply took and ate.

[-post under construction; still unfinished but has been edited on March 24, 2009-]

Before you start reading this entry, here's a disclaimer for you: do NOT read this if you're a Twilight fan because reading this will only infuriate you. Unlike the majority, I am definitely not a fan of the the book (nor the movie. I watched it last Friday and I thought that it was crap save for the baseball and fight scene). In fact, it was an utterly exasperating read - a waste of time and money. And I'm not saying this without any basis either. Contrary to what you might be thinking right now, I've read the entire book (even though I was really tempted to throw it away after reading a couple of chapters). I'm not just some random book basher who finds enjoyment in criticizing popular books. I have basis for my judgments and I shall reveal them to you in this entry.

Let's start with the book's plot. It mainly focuses on the love between a human and a vampire. I don't think that there's nothing really special about that. In fact, you see lots of those in fan fiction, Japanese manga, and a handful of other books so it's not exactly unique. So now it all depends on how the authoress was able to make this story slightly better than other vampire-centric stories. Unfortunately, she didn't. As far as I can see, the book appears like your typical seemingly-ordinary-girl-at-first-sight gets the awesome-and-dreamy-knight-in-shining-armor. Of course, that kind of plot is tolerable. I mean, romance novels are made to be like that. After all, I am aware that if I want to read a story that would depict things on a more realistic and accurate level, I should opt to read a realistic novel and not a romantic one. However, the problem with the plot of Twilight is that it seemed flat. In fact, the only time where in the book managed to wake me up from my sleepy state was the fight scene. The other parts were just a mash of sappy and monotonous sequence of events. There weren't even hints of humor which would have of course been fine if only the authoress was able to keep my attention.

Next would be the characters. To be honest, I am fond of Alice (both in the book and the movie). Stephanie Meyer had definitely made her intriguing. Jasper is okay. I couldn't delve deeper into his character since so little was revealed about him in the first book. The other vampires were bearable as well. However, none of them were really able to draw my attention (save for Alice). As for the humans, they were alright. They're not exactly likable and the infatuation of the 3 guys towards Bella was really cliche but I can say that they're all still bearable. However, my tolerance of the characters end there.

I really don't have any commitment, do I?

Once again I've neglected this journal of mine... [-sigh-]

But I really can't help it.

I'm like a free spirit.

I can't just choose a single hobby and stick with it.

I'll easily get bored if I do that.

I need variation in my life.

Gah! I'm so complicated!

This is what I hate about myself.

I can't just decide on sticking to on thing.

I just don't know what will happen to me if this goes on.

Oh wait... I know. I'll be a bum.

Damn it. I need commitment!

Yes, I'm still sleepy. However, I've decided to post my newest story here since well... I don't wanna explain, okay? Just read it if you want. Here's the summary, by the way:

SUMMARY:
The whole female population has always treated Natsume Hyuuga like a god. They practically kiss the ground that he walks on! Thus, he doesn’t respect them and treats them as objects - mere playthings that can easily be discarded & replaced. However, that changes when he meets Mikan Sakura: a bar waitress turned personal maid.


( Link to Chapter One of NOT JUST A TOY )

Heck, it's noontime here but I'm frigging sleepy...

I keep on yawning...

The reason? I slept at 1 AM but woke up at 6:45 because i had to got school and finish my enrollment.

I just wanna rest but at the same time I don't. I want to do something fun - something exciting.

Oh just ignore me.

[-posts this-]

Now here is the second chapter of CHANGE. Have fun reading it! XD


( Link to Chapter Two )

After taking a long break from writing fan fiction and deleting my previous fan fiction entries in this journal because they suck, I've decided to write fan fiction once again. :D

I've recently edited the first fan fcition that I've written in my whole life and now I present to you CHANGE. I do hope that you'll enjoy reading it. I have to admit that the plot's a bit weak though. Before editing this work, I've already decided that I would only change the grammatical aspect of my writing and I won't change the previous plot. And so, I can't really assure you that the plot is completely awesome. Nevertheless, I hope that you'll find at least a tad bit of enjoyment reading it.

SUMMARY:
Subject: Mikan Sakura. Objective: Figure out how she is able to leave two of the academy’s most handsome guys utterly speechless. [NxMxR]:[Two-shot]:[Complete]


( Link to Chapter One )

Honestly speaking, this entry is long overdue.

It should have been posted two days ago unfortunately, I wasn't able to post it either because I couldn't use my sister's laptop or I wasn't in the mood to write.

Finally, here I am to post this entry which I doubt anyone inds to read. LOL. But frankly, I don't really care... much [-insert laughter-].

I guess I just post stuff for my own enjoyment. Plus, I don't really expect anyone to read this. After all, who would be interested in my oh-so-boring life?

Now please allow me go back to the actual topic since I'm starting to realize that I'm slowly deviating from it.

Anyway, here's the story. Last Sunday, my friends from my old high school and I went out. I never really planned to go ice skating but since two of our companions wanted to skate, me and my other friend complied to their request. And so, we left the mall that we were at in order to go to SM Megamall since the mall we were previously at didn't have a skating rink. However, just when we were about to pay the entrance fee, me and my other friend [the one who was also persuaded by the other two] hesitated. It felt like it wasn't worth the money since we all four of us were practically clueless about skating. Nevertheless, we complied once again to requests of the other two since it seemed as if they really wanted to go skating. As it turned out, one of my friends was actually a pretty good skater [the liar]. He went about gliding the ice with pretty good speed [BTW, he's the only male in the group xD] while the three of us had to hold on to the railings for support so that we won't fall and embarass ourselves. Eventually, I tried skating without holding on to the railings and learned to skate a bit properly in just a short span of time. However, with that came the stupid falls. I fell five times in total. I fell 2 times on my knees [both in the right and left] and 3 times on my behind. However, 2 of those five were caused by that darn companion of mine [damn him]. I already told him that my body was already sore and that I couldn't skate properly anymore yet he still pushed me around the skating rink causing me to fall on my butt twice. I really got annoyed with him. But nevertheless, I still had fun. Besides, I didn't exactly suck. Sure, I did fall a lot however, I'm pretty sure that I'm faster than my other 2 companions. xD

I still plan on ice skating in the near future and I suggest that you try it too. In fact, it's so fun that you won't even care about other people's opinions and criticisms whever you fall on the ice. xD